Raising a Fox Spirit in My Home-Chapter 347 You’re Zhu Caiguai!
Li Yundong was dumbfounded as he listened to the voice coming from the living room. He thought to himself, “No way, they’re actually singing such lewd lyrics? Who taught them? Don’t tell me it was Su Chan again.”
He jumped up quickly, pulled the door open, and headed downstairs. The little foxes just had finished singing. At this moment, they were sitting in a circle, all cross-legged on the ground, and eagerly looking at the 47-inch Plasma TV in the living room. They were so absorbed that they even didn’t notice when Li Yundong came over to them.
Li Yundong saw them all presenting a look of innocence, as if they had not been playing pranks just now, and thought to himself, “Who taught them to sing this song? Could it be… that I misheard? No, surely not.”
Li Yundong stood watching for a while, seeing that they were so fascinated that they hadn’t even noticed that he was standing next to them. He thought to himself, “Good fellow, if there were a sneak attack, even a child could put you all down. Is Calabash Boys really that fascinating? Which TV station is so unpromising as to show these old cartoons?”
Li Yundong looked up and suddenly took a deep breath, saying, “CCTV Children’s Channel! Aren’t you guys a bit old for this!?”
At this time, in the video, the eponymous Calabash Brothers had been caught by a snake and scorpion demon. They took off their pants and peed to tease them. The funny thing was that there was a small mosaic censoring the key parts of the body!
The little foxes wondered, “What is that blurry thing?”
A little fox next to the one who’d spoken immediately scolded with a smile, “Idiot, it’s a man’s thing. Don’t you know?”
“Oh… then why is it like this?”
“I don’t know either, you can ask Shijie Su Chan. She has rich experience in the secular world, so she must know about it.”
Su Chan didn’t know what the mosaic was. She saw that the little foxes were all looking at her, and she didn’t want to show her ignorance in front of them. She rolled her eyes and noticed Li Yundong standing by her side.
As if she had just seen her savior, she said with a smile,”Our Leader is here, ask him. Let him answer.”
Li Yundong was grimacing. He secretly glared at Su Chan, then coughed and said, “Well, this is actually called a mosaic, which is used to block, uh… to block some sensitive places. Um, erm, that’s all.”
Li Yundong was usually sharp-tongued and eloquent, but when he had to explain the problem in front of a group of beauties, he suddenly felt embarrassed and became a stuttering mess!
After listening to the explanation, the little foxes suddenly understood. So that was it!
Su Chan also came to a sudden realization, but she soon looked puzzled. She unconsciously looked down at Li Yundong’s lower parts and asked, “But why don’t you have a mosaic?”
Li Yundong face instantly reddened. He couldn’t wait to catch Su Chan and spank her five hundred times over!
When the rest of the foxes heard Su Chan’s question, their gazes fell upon Li Yundong as well. All of them were grinning ambiguously.
Li Yundong was ashamed to the point of anger and glared at Su Chan. “Are you an idiot? How could you ask this kind of question!”
Su Chan was full of confusion. “Ah? What’s wrong with the question? Did I say something bad?”
Seeing that she was still at a loss, Li Yundong began to lose it and couldn’t help shouting, “How could you ask such a question? You are really an idiot, you are as stupid as a pig!”
Being scolded by Li Yundong in public, Su Chan pouted unhappily. “I didn’t know, so I asked. What’s wrong with that? I’m not a pig!”
An angry laugh burst from Li Yundong. “It’s strange that you’re not a pig! Yes, I’ll change your name later, and we can all call you Zhu Caiguai [TN: ‘It would be surprising if you were not an idiot.]”
Su Chan stomped and said angrily, “You are the pig! Not me!”
Li Yundong let out a sigh of anger, then laughed triumphantly, “Zhu Caiguai! You are Zhu Caiguai!”
Su Chan was so angry that she was about to rush towards Li Yundong but then she saw Zi Yuan, Ruan Hongling and some others from the Fox Zen School leaping over from the balcony.
Li Yundong didn’t know whether to laugh or cry as she said helplessly, “Can’t you use the door? There is an amazing thing in this world known as a door!”
Zi Yuan smiled slightly and Ruan Hongling made a grimace at him. “What’s the difference? Isn’t this also a door? It’s just the back door!”
Li Yundong sighed, “The Chinese mentality of using the black door is really deep-rooted, even amongst cultivators! I give up!”
His words made the small crowd of people laugh.
At this time, Zhou Qin, Cao Yi and the others also walked downstairs, and the spacious living room suddenly became crowded.
Li Yundong looked at Zi Yuan and asked, “Are you here for something?”
Zi Yuan nodded. “Yes, the shop was closed yesterday, so why not get the business license for the storefront today? By the way, we’ve all been thinking about the name of the store.”
Upon hearing this, everyone became excited, especially the little foxes, who began to chatter excitedly.
“Hey, do you have any idea for a name?”
“In my opinion, it should be called Fox Tea Stall!”
“Are you an idiot? Lest others not know that this is a teahouse operated by our Fox Zen School? Aren’t you afraid of drawing trouble from other sects?”
“Just call it Monolith Tea Stall! Use our pioneer’s name, okay?”
“What’s so good about? It’s not as good as the former name! Monolith Tea Stall, so weird!”
They kept talking noisily, and Li Yundong didn’t even have a chance to interrupt. Cao Yi, who was next to him, coughed to attract the attention of the little foxes. She reprimanded all of them, “What’s wrong with you? Do you think you should choose the name? It is absolutely decided by our Leader!”
Li Yundong chuckled and said, “It doesn’t matter. Everyone has their own suggestions. Let them all speak one by one, and then we can choose the best.”
Li Yundong looked at Zi Yuan. “Zi Yuan, you have contributed the most to this whole thing, what name do you want?”
Zi Yuan smiled slightly and said quietly, “I actually haven’t thought about it. It would be better if you guys named it.”
Li Yundong turned to Ruan Hongling again. “Hongling, what name do you want?”
After thinking for a bit, Ruan Hongling was said bluntly, “I remember the last time Sister Zi Yuan performed tea art on the stage, it was like some sort of fairyland with al of the clouds and mist. How about calling it Yunwu Tea Stall?”
Once she’d finished speaking, Li Yundong laughed. “Yunwu is a kind of tea. If we took this name, potential customers would think that only Yunwu tea was sold here.”
Zi Yuan laughed and said jokingly, “Then we should call it Guanyin Tea House. Most of our tea is Tie Guanyin!”
“You’re asking me to give you another name. Now that I have done what you had asked, you all gang up to laugh at me. You two are really a sickening couple! So annoying!” Ruan Hongling teased.
Zi Yuan suddenly blushed and glared at Ruan Hongling angrily. Li Yundong also looked very embarrassed. He coughed awkwardly and quickly changed his target, looking at Zhou Qin and saying, “Zhou Qin, what do you have in mind?”
Zhou Qin laughed, “I don’t have any good ideas actually.”
Seeing that she was refusing to tell him, Li Yundong knew that Zhou Qin had just started her cultivation, so she was being very cautious, lest she say something wrong. Understanding this, he smiled and kept his eyes off her.
By this point, Su Chan could no longer bear it. She raised her hand high and shouted, “I, I, I have a good name!”
Li Yundong glared at her pretentiously. “Zhu Caiguai. Shut up! You are too stupid. We won’t listen to your name!”
Su Chan’s face suddenly fell. She yelled in frustration, “You are so annoying. You are Zhu Caiguai!”
Li Yundong held back his laugh, deliberately not looking at her and instead of turning to Cao Yi. “Shibo Cao Yi, what name do you think we should use?”
“Leader, this is your shop. We have no right to name it,” Cao Yi replied with a laugh.
“Li Yundong waved his hand and said with a smile, “That’s not true. This is also the property of our Fox Zen School. In fact, it’s the joint property of our Fox Zen School and the Linggong Sect of Zhengyi School. Since our Fox Zen School has a share, you do too. Shibo Cao Yi, come on.”
Seeing that she could not refuse, Cao Yi thought for a moment and said, “Since it is a teahouse located in the secular world’s downtown, I think we might as well give it an elegant and popular name. ‘Lin Xian’ sounds good. How about that?”
Liu Yuehong, who was standing next to her, suddenly smiled. “Lin Xian is indeed not bad. It has the meaning both of drinking tea and of entering the immortal realm. But I think ‘Deng Xian’ is better, isn’t it?”
Zhuang Yating also chimed in, “I think it’s best to call it Tong Xian. Lu Tong from the Tang Dynasty once wrote a poem, ‘One bowl of tea wets our throats; two bowls break our loneliness; three bowls moisturize our intestines. Four bowls make us sweat slightly. Five bowls refresh our flesh; six bowls make us immortal.’ The name of Tong Xian takes on the meaning of the poem, which is both common and elegant. What do you guys think?”
After she had finished speaking, Li Yundong immediately clapped his hands and said in praise, “Wow, Shibo Zhuang Yating is really well-read. What a good name.”
At this time, Zhou Qin, who had been reluctant to comment until then, also nodded slightly. She commented, “The entrance of our shop is quite big. I think we can set up three tea rooms. One will be called Lin Xian, one will be called Deng Xian, and the other will be Tong Xian. These three names represent the three realms of tea drinking. It is just right for setting up a VIP tea room with three levels. Tong Xian will be the highest level, and the tea leaves inside will be the best, and so on. What do you think?”
Li Yundong shot her an appreciative look and said, “Good, you aren’t the daughter of an eminent family for nothing. That’s really a good idea!”
Zhou Qin was secretly happy to receive the encouragement. She added, “We can also set up three VIP cards, such as silver cards, gold cards, and diamond cards, to determine the class of customers based on their consumption.”
Hearing this, the others all praised her suggestion. This decision respected the opinions of the three seniors of the Fox Zen School and also clearly outlined the operating methods of the teahouse.
Zi Yuan glanced at Zhou Qin and smiled. “This is really a good idea, Li Yundong, you have a worthy apprentice on your hands.”
Cao Yi also laughed at this comment. “Since our leader has such a capable apprentice, he doesn’t need us anymore!”
Zhou Qin laughed humbly and said, “You flatter me. I’m simply summarizing your ideas. and then synthesizing them. There’s nothing for me to be proud of.”
Li Yundong laughed loudly, “Okay, don’t get caught up flattering each other, just settle down.”
Ruan Hongling suddenly asked curiously, “What has been settled? These are the names of the three rooms, not the teahouse itself. Is it possible that these three names will be hung outside the teahouse at the same time? Wouldn’t it be a mess?”
It was only when she said that everyone seemed to notice the issue and looked at each other.
Li Yundong also said in a low voice, “Uh, yeah… I wouldn’t have thought of that if you hadn’t mentioned it.”
Standing to one side, Su Chan seized the opportunity to taunt Li Yundong triumphantly. “Look, I am not an idiot! I think you’re an idiot! Stupid!”
“Yes, I’m an idiot, but you are Zhu Caiguai! Zhu Caiguai, do you have any good ideas?”
Su Chan heard Li Yundong say this in front of so many people, and she retorted angrily and anxiously, “I told you, you are Zhu Caiguai!”
Li Yundong laughed. “You can give yourself a new name, and then I will admit that you are not Zhu Caiguai!”
Zi Yuan and the others saw Li Yundong and Su Chan bickering with each other. Every word Li Yundong said was taking advantage of Su Chan, but before Su Chan could even react, she foolishly followed Li Yundong’s words. All of them were so amused that they covered their mouths and snickered.
Su Chan did not realize that Li Yundong was teasing her. When she saw Li Yundong asking her to give him a name, she was immediately overjoyed. She put her hands on her hips and said proudly, “You finally remembered to ask me to name it? Making use of my boundless cleverness and intelligence, I will definitely give you a good name!”
Li Yundong held back a smile and said humbly, “Yes, yes, almighty Miss. Zhu Caiguai, give us a name quickly!”
Su Chan stomped and yelled, “Stop calling me that already!”
Li Yundong laughed so much that his cheeks hurt. He said, “Okay, okay, I’ll stop… definitely.”
Su Chan didn’t notice the change in Li Yundong’s words. Seeing that Li Yundong had stopped talking, she shook her head and said, “The previous three shibos mentioned three Immortals. One was Lin Xian, one was Deng Xian, and the other was Tong Xian. In my opinion, this teahouse should be called Di Sanxian [Three Immortals]!”
Li Yundong couldn’t help laughing. “Di Sanxian[TN: It has the same pronunciation as a dish in China which is made of Sautéed Potato, Green Pepper and Eggplant]? Isn’t that a dish? Do you have nothing but food on the brain? Such a gourmet! You said you are not a pig, so what are you? Oh, right, you are indeed not a pig, you are Zhu Caiguai!”
Su Chan was convinced that the name she had chosen was very good. She looked at Li Yundong expectantly and waited for his praise. Unexpectedly, he was daring to mock her. She shouted in a fit of rage and exasperation, “I AM NOT ZHU CAIGUAI!”
This time, everyone in the room fell about laughing. Li Yundong thought he might die if he didn’t stop laughing soon.
Su Chan looked around at the hysterical crowd. She was so stunned that she went blank. She felt wronged and sad in her heart. “Why would they laugh at me for suggesting such a good name?
“Especially that goddamn Yundong, he’s actually taking the lead in making fun of me!”
Su Chan felt aggrieved, even more miserable than Dou E [TN: A figure representative of a tragic woman in Chinese culture]. Her nose twitched as tears welled up in her eyes. She choked out, “I’m not Zhu Caiguai…”
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